Man, I am SO ready to be done with this phase of our friendship...I'll always love you, but damn, I am ready to really feel single and see what the world has to offer me! I've dropped a few pounds, I'm getting compliments about how I look...and I'm starting to be funny again! It's amazing how different it feels to be around men that actually find me attractive! Someday? There's going to be a man in my life that loves it when I come on to him...who can't wait to be the one I lavish my attention on, who wants me as much as I want him...I don't know who he is, or where or when we'll meet...God will take care of that part. But I have too much love to give to just sit upstairs and wish that you wanted to be with me. Go with my love. Go in peace. Just go!
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SF Bay Area
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Re: Let's get on with it already!!!
Sun, March 6, 2005 - 12:38 PMI can tell I'm really starting to recover from you...I don't wish you would hang out with me...You're still so handsome it stings sometimes...but I'm starting to notice other guys, and you don't seem so normal any more, now that I'm getting to know other people. I don't feel compelled to write about you every day...and I really am looking forward to not hearing your footsteps on my floor any more. I love you so much still, but you really are 'friend material' rather than boyfriend...You're waaaay too into being by yourself and obsessing on your computer projects. I love you, but I don't think I'm going to miss you very much.
Please don't get another girlfriend till you straighten out your head...That would be so cruel to someone who is probably a very nice woman, whoever she may be... -
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Re: Let's get on with it already!!!
Wed, March 9, 2005 - 11:43 AMWhat, it's like three weeks till you move out? I am tired of hearing tht it's been hard for you to deal with this...you did it. I really am grateful that you broke up with me though...I would have wasted years with you, waiting for you to "live up to your potential"...Someday I want to co-own a houe, or at least not live on a month to month rental basis, unless you inherit something, I just have a hard time seeing you being that partner.
And hey, guess what? I love to have sex (with one person only, but hey...) and I'm tired of feeling like I'm laying this big burden on you to do something you never really wanted to do in the first place...You know what? It can be fun, and playful, and two people who are together can do it more than a couple of times a month! I actually hear of couples who can't wait for the oportunity to be together, and actually engage in mutual seduction...I want to be in one of those couples! What good are sexy underwear if I can't wear them and know that if I go "Hey, wanna?" you'll be available...and not make fifty excuses why it's not the right time. I don't want to have casual sex with multiple 'dates', but you know what? I think there's someone out there for me who would be happy for the kind of love and attention I give to the man I love!
You are SO not the man for me!!! I don't know who he is, or what he's doing while we wait to meet each other, but I can feel him drawing closer to me, and I am excited about the prospect of a REAL relationship.(unlike someone who shall remain nameless, but who's initials are Y. O. U.) It still hurts to think that you would prefer to be alone in your room rather than being a part of life with me, but hey, that's no longer my problem!!!
Three more weeks, and then yeah, maybe we'll have coffee sometime. Come over and visit the dogs, they'll miss you. I for one am tired of trying to get my needs and desires satisfied by someone who has s little to share...you have a lot to give, but you sure don't know how to do it! If this is how you are 'friends'...well, I have a lot of good friends, I don't need to look to you for my understanding or sharing or place to say how I really feel...
God, I can't wait till this is over!
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