I don’t understand. Even after all these months, I just don’t get it. Why did you push me away when you needed me most? Why did you throw away the happiness I had to offer? Did I do something to deserve this heartbreak? Did I say something that made you want to hurt me? I wish you would have said so, if I did, instead of blaming your cruelty on things beyond our control.

I would have walked through fire for you, bent over backwards and walked on my hands over hot coals, to the end of the world and back for you. I would have done anything you asked, if only to make you happy. I thought I did make you happy… you said as much… you marveled at how happy you were with me. But you threw me away anyway, with nothing but digital declarations of your unworthiness.

You didn’t even have enough respect for me to say it to my face, or even to my ear, that you would have nothing more to do with me. You said it to my computer screen… I still have that last letter, and I read it sometimes, when I’ve forgotten to forget my love for you, and I try to understand what I did wrong.

Did I love you too much? Too well? Did I make you too happy? Did I scare you with the intensity of my honesty? Or the purity of my trust?

It doesn’t really matter what the answers are… you’re gone, and that’s how its going to stay. I just wish I could put what I thought we had behind me. I wish I could forget… your touch, your face, your voice, your name…

this pain…